A Reason For The Tough Seasons
In life, everyone will face moments that will make you or break you. Facing hard moments makes you question if you have it in you to keep going. We all face these challenges and for me, this moment has come with my recent divorce. Companionship is so important in our lives but since my father died, I’ve been by myself. I raised my children and put family first, but at this stage in my life I’m finding myself alone.
At first I was devastated. I was afraid to be alone. I didn’t know what to do. For weeks I just stayed in my house crying and not understanding why divorce was knocking on my door, but then I dug down really deep and realized there’s a reason for it. There’s a reason for me to be alone right now. I’m supposed to find myself and to find out who I am.
When going through challenging circumstances, like a divorce, the first thing you do is blame yourself. You spend so much time thinking of what you could’ve did better or what you didn’t see. It’s a battle every day to figure where it all went wrong. Once you’re able to let that go, the healing process gets a little bit easier every day.
I’ve always been able to pull through difficult seasons in life because I had my children dependent on me. I had to rise and continue on for their sake, but now that my children are older, they don’t depend on me the way they did when they were young. When I thought about this time in my life, I always envisioned it with my husband. My dream and goal was to retire to spend more time together, but he didn’t have the same plan. Now I’m finding myself with new goals, new visions, and things that I would have never thought would be part of my journey. As hard as this time has been, I’m on the next part of this adventure and I’m thankful for the good people around me who have supported me. When you’re surrounded by love and encouragement, it gives you the strength to endure the tough days. On the days I think I can’t make it, I lean on having faith that this too shall pass. I always repeat to myself “I just need to get to the sun rise”. And surely, the sun does rise again.
I can’t say it’s not hard, especially with running and managing three businesses on my own, taking care of five dogs (amongst many other pets) and more, but finding time for myself and trusting in my abilities and leaving doubt behind has helped me begin to see that I can do more than I ever thought I was capable of. I’ve chosen to leave self doubt behind and have started to see everything fall into place.
If you’re walking through a challenging season in your life, take it from me - you are tougher than you look and smarter than you think.
Each day I thank God I’m alive and can’t wait to see what He has in store for me. I love learning new things and meeting new people and I’ve found that you don’t always need somebody to complete you. You are complete on your own.
